I think confused used to be my middle name. I always imagined I'd have my shit together when I was 40, but I didn't think I'd wait till so close to its approach to begin to make it so.
When I was healing in 2011 I had these amazing theta healing sessions via distance. They worked unbelievably well on a physical and spiritual level. But they failed to help me get going on my life's purpose which was part of the journey. I already knew my life's purpose, I'd known it for twenty years, but with a finger in every pie and interest in just about everything, it became increasingly confusing. Despite this beautiful earth angel's help, I danced around what I knew I wanted. She would get carried away with me on a new path, a whim, humour me and then try not to sound frustrated when on our next call I would be ready to try something else.
It was only when I started to receive messages from my own angel team and guides that I reluctantly began nudging toward my North Star. They would not let me dodge or deny myself the chance at doing what I truly wanted anymore. Did they say I would be an amazing writer and communicator? Brilliant, flawless, always on point? No, no and no. But what they have shared with me, in silence, in signs, in songs, to my soul family, in dreams and visions, is far greater in value. And it reflects what I know deep in my heart. What could be more important than that?
As if all the confirmation and sign posts I received over the past three years weren't enough. Just to get me over the start line, whilst I was moving house recently and trying to get my blog up and running at the same time, one of my angel's literally wrote me what I needed to do.
My then boyfriend wrote this in 1996, I was surprised by its bold appearance in an old folder as I sorted things out for the move. Especially as I didn't even keep all of the hand written personal notes he gave me, (in order to not be stuck in a version of our past). Although I knew he was always with me, after leaving the earth plane in 1999 (he has a signpost all of his very own), I discovered early in 2014 that he is one of my Guardian Angels. (There is a whole story to that which I will share another time too).
Ever heard the saying the thing we find the hardest to do is the thing we must do? This is something I thought sounded really strange and yet this has been my truth. I was pushed and prodded and poked and reminded, and so very reluctant, and sometimes downright petrified- just to write what was in me. And share it! If that sounds extreme then search high and low for that same feeling as it is the one that will act as your compass. In my long lost life I was a professional dancer, for something that I loved to do so much, I always thought I should've been more fulfilled. (I felt the same in relationships until I found the find I knew was out there too btw ;).
Another amazing truth I've experienced recently is that the more you do the thing you Love, that thing you so desire to do- call it life purpose, soul contract, or just living your dreams- the more energy you have. That's right, even when you are laying in bed typing a blog one-handed whilst breastfeeding, relinquishing precious sleep time!
So what is life like knowing I am always being guided? Absolutely amazing. Magical. And so frequently miraculous. One day I will get together some articles on how to communicate with your guides and angel's but guys, if you haven't already, read 'The Afterlife of Billy Fingers' by Annie Kagan. If you haven't experienced a taste, can't imagine or feel some of what she describes, although it may seem extreme at times- you must deepen your connection to the other side. To your loved ones gone before you and others that Love you. To the magic inside which your beloveds hope and desire to bring forth. As part of all of your journeys.