There is allot of talk right now about being real. Being your true self, your best self, your higher self. This is awesome. We should all, to the best of our current awareness, be who we really are. Without fear of judgement from others. But it is not as simple as people profess. In a world full of energies and perceptions we often fall into patterns of being what others expect us to be, and this can be a very hard habit to break. It takes a great deal of conscious awareness, and also allot of self-awareness. As we are each creators, it takes us knowing exactly the kind of person we want to be, and what energy imprint we want to leave behind. Oftentimes when we walk into a social situation that we are not energetically prepared for, when we have progressed past taking on the energies and attitudes of others, we are left in a place of perplexed detachment. The thing is, as humans we thrive on connection. All people here are equal and made of the same starry stuff. Engaging with others can not only be extremely uplifting but enlightening when honesty prevails and connection naturally follows.
I had a significant learning experience recently watching my daughter at a social gathering that was just not setting her little heart alight. I found myself having to make excuses for her, something I never wanted to do. And certainly not something I ‘had’ to do, despite feeling that way. Everyone has bad days, even, especially, toddlers. I have felt in my heart recently that without being cruel we really, as a collective, need to step up the honesty. Stop tip-toeing around things, and express our truths and our hurts when we need to. I have no problem doing the later, but I do have a problem when people come into my space with their problems, but refuse to be honest with me about them when I show concern. It causes all kinds of emotional and manipulative play and is a huge drain on energy. I have certainly been at fault of this in the past, which is why it is so obvious in my current awareness. It is something we all need to work on. Also, it is great in theory to cut ties with those who drain us energetically, but often those most deeply affecting us are the ones closest to us. The ones we signed onto life on this planet to complete the greatest contracts.
Being ourselves means expressing exactly who we are in our immediate experience, not defaulting to some preconceived version of ourselves i.e. the bubbly one, the in control one, the eternally positive one, the one that has it all together. These are all versions I have been given of people lately, and the truth is when I have shown my true self without my 'eternally positive' mask, others have been shocked and it seems to make them very uncomfortable. In these moments of expressing frustration I was not experiencing a brain haemorrhage, nor had I had a personality transplant, I was just expressing myself, as I felt in that moment. A deep breath, a shoulder, and some much needed H2O later, I bounce back, upbeat as ever. Because that is what I naturally do. Again, this is not the same for everyone and that is ok. Also note that our physiology can sometimes cause symptoms and trigger emotions that we perceive as personality traits which are not at all (I will share a whole blog on this one soon).
The idea of being honest like children is not a new one. They wear their big, little hearts on their sleeves and they wear them wide, wide open. Until they learn from watching their elders that we must shove down our so-perceived 'negative' emotions. As long as felt and expressed through us and not harboured by us, no emotion can truly be negative. Of course we would all prefer to live in a joyful state of bliss all of the time. With a little practice and awareness of the present moment this is certainly something that can be tuned into when the moment calls it forth. Sometimes, despite every effort, and positive mantra, this will not be possible. And that is ok too. It is truly not a representation of a downhill slide or personality fault, but an expression that you are here having a human experience. It is when we have trouble bouncing back from these setbacks that we must reach up and grab a hand to help us, whether that hand be one of a friend or family, or a change we know we need to make to pull us out of a rut. Being strong is not pretending everything is okay when it is not. You are not fooling anybody and it takes a huge amount of effort on your part and energy from others. Being strong is feeling every single emotion that comes across your plate and accepting it, while also embracing others as their deepest, truest, and sometimes messiest, versions of themselves.
Phew! No one said this human cloaking deep mysterious eternal cosmic energy gig would be easy. But boy oh boy is it worth it.
As long as felt and expressed through us, and not harboured by us, no emotion can truly be negative.