What is Ascension?
One story.
When I began my ‘ascension’ journey 8 or more years ago I had no idea where the clues that were being left for me were leading. How do I now know where they are leading? I don’t entirely! But my inner compass and the way I feel each new day that comes, especially compared to versions of me in the past, tell me that I am evolving. And into something completely different from what I was. This, accompanied with an ‘inner knowing’ which I have always had, and which was almost always at loggerheads with my logical Virgo-moon mind, point to this ‘thing’ known as ‘ascension’.
When I began to feel the symptoms of ascension I was already in deep purging and physical illness and was confused by what was happening in relation to one, and what was being caused as an outcome of the other. You see, after I met my catalyst, and catalyst for change can be many things, a person, loss of health, loss of Love, relationship, death of a loved one, loss of job etc. Mine was a culmination of all of the above. It began slowly with the death of someone I loved dearly in 1999. My growth felt exponential, and yet as I lived, loved and enjoyed my life thoroughly over the years, in 2006-2010, I felt stalled spiritually.
I didn’t notice it happening. I was having too much fun to notice. I took a job dancing overseas with the intention to use it as a catalyst to completely overhaul my life and escape the trappings of the corporate world and a mundane existence. In short, to write. But in the meantime I fell into the trap of drama, not staying true to myself, overindulgence, and a myriad of other things. At the time I was somewhat aware I was a little different from allot of people I knew. I had been called sensitive, not the burst into tears type, but I would pain at other people’s pains, the suffering of animals, the earth. I was mostly in-tune. I could accurately predict when someone I knew even via third party was pregnant, the sex of the baby, joyful predictions. But also when someone had died. Not so joyful predictions, and also intense pain, since I would feel the person connected’s suffering.
I never intended to turn these things off. But in my traveling I inserted myself into a particularly challenging environment for a sensitive, and I handled it by drinking copious amounts of alcohol. I had been drinking for many years by this point, but due to the lifestyle of travel, freedom and an endless supply of drinking buddies, it became my norm. It became everyone’s norm. And this was around 7 years after I had stopped partying hard as we called it, and using recreational drugs.
Why do I share the above tale. Because I may not fall under any sect or religion. I don’t believe in sins. Despite feeling deeply connected to a ‘God’ my whole life. And maybe that was a cop out for me to do the wrong thing/s for so many years, but the above tale points to the word ‘distraction’. And to this day I’ve noticed, in my own life, and others, it being the sneakiest and most brutal deterant from people living their best lives.
I became distracted from my path. I became deeply distracted from my connection. With every bad word or experience, said about me or ‘done’ ‘to me’ as I sometimes saw things, despite constantly staying up to date with the latest spiritual hits and techniques. ‘Seven habits’, ‘The Power of Now,’ The Secret’ and my then favourite ‘the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’, something wasn’t quite gelling. I only had one foot on the path, and therefore, as pretty and exciting as my life looked, and it was exciting every single day. Underneath I was slowly becoming an entangled mess.
That all changed early in 2009. After travelling extensively and rehearsing for shows across the northern U.S we landed in the beautiful Hawaii. I immediately felt a connection. One I didn’t know I had lost. One I really did not expect or understand. In 1996 while deeply in Love, my then boyfriend holidayed in Hawaii with his family. I then only 16 and just about to finish school stayed home. It was before mobile phones, text messages, or even email (at least in our sheltered world) and he would write me on the back of postcards. Almost as soon as my feet touched the earth in Hawaii, it began, a slow but sure unravelling. I would walk into any shop and the same postcards that my Love, now deceased, had written me almost exactly 10 years prior were there on the shelves looking at me.
I could feel him every moment of everyday there. Until that point I had been missing him terribly, unable to find a Love as deep and real as ours, and believing, now 30, I may never find it. I had lost one of my favourite personal pictures of him the year prior, which I believed and still do was a deliberate move on his part to stop me looking back so frequently.
The fun and the furious pace did not slow down here, but I began to find myself craving more alone time. I already needed much more time to recharge than my outgoing friends, and it frustrated me at times that they didn’t understand. I just cant be around people, all, of, the time. Of course I now understand the depths of being an introvert and an empath, but that was still to come.
Whilst in Hawaii I got a tattoo on my arm for my beloved, laughing at the fact that tattoos were not something he found very becoming and yet having it as an ode to him and a middle finger to all the restrictions and rules in my life that I thought I had escaped but had not. Soon after I began getting really bad arthritis. I had had small bouts of it in my hands before, and even now, as I type, but this was unbearable joint pain. During rehearsals in the months prior I was warned to stop drinking coffee due to a recurring dizzy spells that would happen when standing for too long in long days on stage during rehearsals.
When we left Hawaii, fond memories, deep connection, far, far too much drinking, road trips, amazing food, surfing, snorkeling and some kind of small reconnection blossoming in my heart. I felt changed. My relationship with my then boyfriend was strained due to the fact that he was in the Caribbean and I on the west coast, completely void of amazing tools and time for connecting regularly. While he began to speak of getting engaged. I already felt us begin to drift apart.
How does this all lead to a dramatic change in life style and circumstances leading one to deep growth and ‘ascension’. Well, we slowly stop saying yes to things that just don’t seem to add up for us. Or as aptly said, by someone “we stop saying yes to things that insult our soul!”
From the moment we arrived in Alaska I stopped spending time with people who spoke and acted out of alignment with my core beliefs, which of course we don’t necessarily know, but feel. I withdrew and said no to invitations, when in the past I would’ve just gone and drank more to cope with the strong, and ‘unreal’ personalities around me. I was in the perfect place to spend more time in nature, and I was in LOVE. I mean Alaska. It is beyond breathtaking and had my ex-partner agreed our daughter would probably named such. Anyway, I digress. Ascension does not pour. It trickles. At first anyway, and depending on the timeline you need to match up with for the growth of the planet. I spent 5 months of bliss amongst the cold, ice, otters, bears and whales who I am deeply connected with and which I began to realise. I purchased a quality SLR and immersed myself daily in capturing what my eyes were beginning to see with great clarity. I still had trouble letting go. To ideas, timelines, promises, dreams and all the rest I had loaded onto my life- like everyone quietly does. And by the end of 2009, around my 31st birthday, I was utterly exhausted.
I wasn’t just exhausted day and night. But I was beyond moody. I wanted everything to be easy. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to sleep. But it felt as though I never got the chance. Early 2010 I went back to work as a dancer after three months of travel and almost zero rest.
I won’t spoil my favourite story, but instead jump here to the point of emotional and physical exhaustion where I was literally ALWAYS hungry, and I had felt for years I was always hungry, but I really just could not be satiated. The strange thing I noticed, as a sweet tooth though, was that I was desperately craving salt. I would feel faint after hot showers. Of which I would have a few a day. And dizziness prevailed.
This is where I claim my true Ascension journey began due to the rapid decline of my physical health. I had continued to spend more time alone immersing myself in my psychology studies in our days off instead of relaxing, and adding yoga and the gym to my fitness regime, without counter balancing the extra load with quality food and rest. At this point I was drinking 6-8 litres of water a day! How do I know? I worked on cruise ships where you buy all your water, and it was becoming perplexing to me and expensive. I do NOT recommend this. Of course I understand all of this from both a physical and a Spiritual level low but when you’re amidst all of the chaos and awful symptoms it is scary. My decline from this point was rapid, it’s like I said above I stopped saying yes to things that insulted my soul and though I hadn’t verbally said yes- my body screamed it, it got me out of there any way it knew how. All these dizzy spells lead to glucose injections and eventually fainting spells. This was perplexing to everyone, especially me, I followed a vegetarian diet but ate more than anyone I knew- at least 2 full plates of food every meal. But I was also the smallest, I honestly could not put on real weight if I tried. My heart rate was all over the place despite having switched to black decaf 12 months earlier. I was quickly dismissed from my job as a dancer once the fainting started and was hospitalised for several days as I underwent tests in Miami. It was here I had the complete displeasure of experiencing a tilt- table test. Which for those of you who have never seen or heard on this contraption, is basically a modern form of torture, especially for anyone in my state. I failed the tilt-table test, which is to say the heart surgeon discovered I had ‘neurocardiogenic syncope’. Which by the way basically and not ironically points to a complete disconnect between the brain and heart, usually causing fainting, caused by a drop in blood pressure when standing instead of rising.
TO BE CONTINUED. . .
When I began to feel the symptoms of ascension I was already in deep purging and physical illness and was confused by what was happening in relation to one, and what was being caused as an outcome of the other. You see, after I met my catalyst, and catalyst for change can be many things, a person, loss of health, loss of Love, relationship, death of a loved one, loss of job etc. Mine was a culmination of all of the above. It began slowly with the death of someone I loved dearly in 1999. My growth felt exponential, and yet as I lived, loved and enjoyed my life thoroughly over the years, in 2006-2010, I felt stalled spiritually.
I didn’t notice it happening. I was having too much fun to notice. I took a job dancing overseas with the intention to use it as a catalyst to completely overhaul my life and escape the trappings of the corporate world and a mundane existence. In short, to write. But in the meantime I fell into the trap of drama, not staying true to myself, overindulgence, and a myriad of other things. At the time I was somewhat aware I was a little different from allot of people I knew. I had been called sensitive, not the burst into tears type, but I would pain at other people’s pains, the suffering of animals, the earth. I was mostly in-tune. I could accurately predict when someone I knew even via third party was pregnant, the sex of the baby, joyful predictions. But also when someone had died. Not so joyful predictions, and also intense pain, since I would feel the person connected’s suffering.
I never intended to turn these things off. But in my traveling I inserted myself into a particularly challenging environment for a sensitive, and I handled it by drinking copious amounts of alcohol. I had been drinking for many years by this point, but due to the lifestyle of travel, freedom and an endless supply of drinking buddies, it became my norm. It became everyone’s norm. And this was around 7 years after I had stopped partying hard as we called it, and using recreational drugs.
Why do I share the above tale. Because I may not fall under any sect or religion. I don’t believe in sins. Despite feeling deeply connected to a ‘God’ my whole life. And maybe that was a cop out for me to do the wrong thing/s for so many years, but the above tale points to the word ‘distraction’. And to this day I’ve noticed, in my own life, and others, it being the sneakiest and most brutal deterant from people living their best lives.
I became distracted from my path. I became deeply distracted from my connection. With every bad word or experience, said about me or ‘done’ ‘to me’ as I sometimes saw things, despite constantly staying up to date with the latest spiritual hits and techniques. ‘Seven habits’, ‘The Power of Now,’ The Secret’ and my then favourite ‘the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’, something wasn’t quite gelling. I only had one foot on the path, and therefore, as pretty and exciting as my life looked, and it was exciting every single day. Underneath I was slowly becoming an entangled mess.
That all changed early in 2009. After travelling extensively and rehearsing for shows across the northern U.S we landed in the beautiful Hawaii. I immediately felt a connection. One I didn’t know I had lost. One I really did not expect or understand. In 1996 while deeply in Love, my then boyfriend holidayed in Hawaii with his family. I then only 16 and just about to finish school stayed home. It was before mobile phones, text messages, or even email (at least in our sheltered world) and he would write me on the back of postcards. Almost as soon as my feet touched the earth in Hawaii, it began, a slow but sure unravelling. I would walk into any shop and the same postcards that my Love, now deceased, had written me almost exactly 10 years prior were there on the shelves looking at me.
I could feel him every moment of everyday there. Until that point I had been missing him terribly, unable to find a Love as deep and real as ours, and believing, now 30, I may never find it. I had lost one of my favourite personal pictures of him the year prior, which I believed and still do was a deliberate move on his part to stop me looking back so frequently.
The fun and the furious pace did not slow down here, but I began to find myself craving more alone time. I already needed much more time to recharge than my outgoing friends, and it frustrated me at times that they didn’t understand. I just cant be around people, all, of, the time. Of course I now understand the depths of being an introvert and an empath, but that was still to come.
Whilst in Hawaii I got a tattoo on my arm for my beloved, laughing at the fact that tattoos were not something he found very becoming and yet having it as an ode to him and a middle finger to all the restrictions and rules in my life that I thought I had escaped but had not. Soon after I began getting really bad arthritis. I had had small bouts of it in my hands before, and even now, as I type, but this was unbearable joint pain. During rehearsals in the months prior I was warned to stop drinking coffee due to a recurring dizzy spells that would happen when standing for too long in long days on stage during rehearsals.
When we left Hawaii, fond memories, deep connection, far, far too much drinking, road trips, amazing food, surfing, snorkeling and some kind of small reconnection blossoming in my heart. I felt changed. My relationship with my then boyfriend was strained due to the fact that he was in the Caribbean and I on the west coast, completely void of amazing tools and time for connecting regularly. While he began to speak of getting engaged. I already felt us begin to drift apart.
How does this all lead to a dramatic change in life style and circumstances leading one to deep growth and ‘ascension’. Well, we slowly stop saying yes to things that just don’t seem to add up for us. Or as aptly said, by someone “we stop saying yes to things that insult our soul!”
From the moment we arrived in Alaska I stopped spending time with people who spoke and acted out of alignment with my core beliefs, which of course we don’t necessarily know, but feel. I withdrew and said no to invitations, when in the past I would’ve just gone and drank more to cope with the strong, and ‘unreal’ personalities around me. I was in the perfect place to spend more time in nature, and I was in LOVE. I mean Alaska. It is beyond breathtaking and had my ex-partner agreed our daughter would probably named such. Anyway, I digress. Ascension does not pour. It trickles. At first anyway, and depending on the timeline you need to match up with for the growth of the planet. I spent 5 months of bliss amongst the cold, ice, otters, bears and whales who I am deeply connected with and which I began to realise. I purchased a quality SLR and immersed myself daily in capturing what my eyes were beginning to see with great clarity. I still had trouble letting go. To ideas, timelines, promises, dreams and all the rest I had loaded onto my life- like everyone quietly does. And by the end of 2009, around my 31st birthday, I was utterly exhausted.
I wasn’t just exhausted day and night. But I was beyond moody. I wanted everything to be easy. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to sleep. But it felt as though I never got the chance. Early 2010 I went back to work as a dancer after three months of travel and almost zero rest.
I won’t spoil my favourite story, but instead jump here to the point of emotional and physical exhaustion where I was literally ALWAYS hungry, and I had felt for years I was always hungry, but I really just could not be satiated. The strange thing I noticed, as a sweet tooth though, was that I was desperately craving salt. I would feel faint after hot showers. Of which I would have a few a day. And dizziness prevailed.
This is where I claim my true Ascension journey began due to the rapid decline of my physical health. I had continued to spend more time alone immersing myself in my psychology studies in our days off instead of relaxing, and adding yoga and the gym to my fitness regime, without counter balancing the extra load with quality food and rest. At this point I was drinking 6-8 litres of water a day! How do I know? I worked on cruise ships where you buy all your water, and it was becoming perplexing to me and expensive. I do NOT recommend this. Of course I understand all of this from both a physical and a Spiritual level low but when you’re amidst all of the chaos and awful symptoms it is scary. My decline from this point was rapid, it’s like I said above I stopped saying yes to things that insulted my soul and though I hadn’t verbally said yes- my body screamed it, it got me out of there any way it knew how. All these dizzy spells lead to glucose injections and eventually fainting spells. This was perplexing to everyone, especially me, I followed a vegetarian diet but ate more than anyone I knew- at least 2 full plates of food every meal. But I was also the smallest, I honestly could not put on real weight if I tried. My heart rate was all over the place despite having switched to black decaf 12 months earlier. I was quickly dismissed from my job as a dancer once the fainting started and was hospitalised for several days as I underwent tests in Miami. It was here I had the complete displeasure of experiencing a tilt- table test. Which for those of you who have never seen or heard on this contraption, is basically a modern form of torture, especially for anyone in my state. I failed the tilt-table test, which is to say the heart surgeon discovered I had ‘neurocardiogenic syncope’. Which by the way basically and not ironically points to a complete disconnect between the brain and heart, usually causing fainting, caused by a drop in blood pressure when standing instead of rising.
TO BE CONTINUED. . .
WHAT I LEARNED THROUGH THIS PROCESS
Being physically debilitated sometimes means you are more ‘present’ than the healthiest person in the room. Even if you can not for some reason communicate.
If you won’t put yourself on the right track God/the Universe/Source will do it for you.
The medical profession PROFITS from your misery, and doctors generally just want to prove themselves right (and then Medicate you, even if it does not fix all the issues there is definitely a near enough is good enough mentality rather than why the hell is this actually happening to an otherwise extremely healthy 31yr old.- of course this is general but I experienced the best and worst in doctors and nurses in my time in and out of the system.
Our bodies need minerals one of the important ones is sodium. . .
Another extremely important one is magnesium- my first doctor actually told me to stop using magnesium not realising it was probably the only thing that had kept me going for as long as I did the way I was.
Doctors are not nutrionists.
A vegetarian/vegan diet like all diets has to be done well (I do not put my decline in health down to my lack in meat but more so the high amounts of complex carbohydrates I ate I.e. sugar and bread).
Regardless of diet And lifestyle I have all the personality traits that tend to lead to this type of illness due to overdoing things, and not making time for quality rest. Balance is key.
Priorities
1. Pure filtered water (no flouride, chlorine).
2. No GMOs
3. No BPAs
4. High Frequency Food (See ‘Fuel for Change’)
5. Quality Salt
6. Kelp and iodine as needed
7. Quality Magnesium
8. Colloidal minerals
9. Sufficient time in nature, bare foot (grounding).
10. Extra space & time for emotional processing
11. Meditation
12. Yoga or other physical movement for energetic blockages
13. Energy and space cleansing
If all else fails ask for ease and grace.
If you won’t put yourself on the right track God/the Universe/Source will do it for you.
The medical profession PROFITS from your misery, and doctors generally just want to prove themselves right (and then Medicate you, even if it does not fix all the issues there is definitely a near enough is good enough mentality rather than why the hell is this actually happening to an otherwise extremely healthy 31yr old.- of course this is general but I experienced the best and worst in doctors and nurses in my time in and out of the system.
Our bodies need minerals one of the important ones is sodium. . .
Another extremely important one is magnesium- my first doctor actually told me to stop using magnesium not realising it was probably the only thing that had kept me going for as long as I did the way I was.
Doctors are not nutrionists.
A vegetarian/vegan diet like all diets has to be done well (I do not put my decline in health down to my lack in meat but more so the high amounts of complex carbohydrates I ate I.e. sugar and bread).
Regardless of diet And lifestyle I have all the personality traits that tend to lead to this type of illness due to overdoing things, and not making time for quality rest. Balance is key.
Priorities
1. Pure filtered water (no flouride, chlorine).
2. No GMOs
3. No BPAs
4. High Frequency Food (See ‘Fuel for Change’)
5. Quality Salt
6. Kelp and iodine as needed
7. Quality Magnesium
8. Colloidal minerals
9. Sufficient time in nature, bare foot (grounding).
10. Extra space & time for emotional processing
11. Meditation
12. Yoga or other physical movement for energetic blockages
13. Energy and space cleansing
If all else fails ask for ease and grace.
Check out my page on fuelling your body and your life with the highest intentions and frequency. . .
Not only will honouring how and with what you fuel this journey make the Ascension process smoother, it will make you feel unstoppable
Not only will honouring how and with what you fuel this journey make the Ascension process smoother, it will make you feel unstoppable